It takes love to feel pain and it takes some pain to realize love. Quite a predicament. I’ll be traveling without my husband for the first time since our marriage and unbeknownst to me, I’m finding reasons to cut my trip as short as possible. It takes so long to find honesty and a home in a place other than family and I have found that in my husband. He’s my best friend and a beautiful human being. He’s everything I look to be and am I lucky to have him? I’d hope it’s destiny. Luck is fleeting while destiny seems somewhat stable.
Sometimes I wonder how our lives are that different from each other but set with the same character sketch and canvas. We all want happiness, health and wealth. We all want someone to love. We all need a family to go to and home to live in. Yet, we walk a road no one else has walked and etch a life no one else has lived. What can be more intriguing than life itself?
There are so many things I want in my life but when I think of my husband, it feels like there’s nothing left to want or need but only to live and cherish. I still want that watch though!
Seriously, it’s heartbreaking to hear of heartbreaks around you when your life is filled with an abundance of love and understanding. It’s not perfect and it’ll never be because perfect isn’t fluid. It’s isn’t spontaneous nor is it alive. We have our fights and arguments and quibbles but we move on. It might take a day or more but the picture is clear in my mind- to have him by my side until the end of time. Sometimes humor helps and sometimes silence but patience always helps. This isn’t advise but just a tiny bit of my everyday life that might help someone out there deliberating on marriage.
Why am I sharing this with the world? Maybe I want to be able to put this in words for my understanding. I’m awestruck by how indefinable and inexplicable life is. By how lucky or destined I am to find someone like my husband or maybe because I want everybody to have what I have and to find love in places you don’t expect to or in a stranger who would come to mean more than anything you’ve ever had. But then it can all go away leaving you with memories and an ocean of sadness.
So I ask you is it love or pain?